Life

Finding Your Life’s Offenders

I always thought, no, I was always absolutely certain that when I would grow up, I would create for myself a great life, full of love, color, and adventure. I thought I would be traveling the world and writing stories about people I meet and tell them to my children and my children’s children… Sadly, twenty years later, I somehow ended up being a stressed and depressed mom, trapped in a long, daily routine made of work, work, and more work. Some call it “the reality”, but I think there has to be a way to overwrite this “reality”. There are some happy people out there in the world, and not because they are lucky, but because they live right, because they found their best formula. And now I want to find mine.

So the first step in rebuilding my life is to re-evaluate what my life is like now.

Rules for happiness: have someone to love, something to do, and something to look forward to. Immanuel Kant

When re-evaluating my life and looking for the reasons why I felt so dissatisfied and unfulfilled (I call them “my offenders”), I broke life down into three equally important sections: home – i.e. someone to love, work (as something to do), and my soul (as something to look forward to). With the idea that every aspect of life can and SHOULD be enjoyable, I started by answering these simple questions:

1. Home: Do I have people I love around me? If you struggle with this, write down the names!

2. Work: Do I have a job I enjoy?

3. Soul: Do I take time to do things I love?

4. Do I allocate an equal (or at least, somewhat equal) time or energy to all these three sections?

You may think these questions are too simple or too obvious, but the basic principles of life ARE simple and obvious. If you are not feeling good about your life, then your answer to at least one of the questions will be NO. 

I posted my answers below, and you can read them if you would like. But before you do, answer the questions yourself. Write them down on a piece of paper, because if you don’t like your answers (they may be too simple, too complicated, scary, or embarrassing!), then it will take no effort to brush them away. Meanwhile, when you write your answers, it takes actual, physical action to dismiss, discard, or move the paper. I mean, if you are going to do it, do it right. You’ve got to know what your offenders are, it’s impossible to tackle any problem without knowing what the problem is… Now, what you do once you know what the problem is is the million dollar question, but we will leave it to another day!

My Answers: 1. I say Yes!! I am lucky to be able to say that my family and friends are my everything! 2. Well, partially. I am a private immigration attorney and do enjoy some aspects of my job ~ the human factor: I do help people change their and their families’ lives. I also get to travel for work and get paid for it! On the other hand, I absolutely hate the stress of being on top of things all the time, long hours away from home which leads to multitasking and a constant switching of my work and motherhood hats back and forth. Also, my type of work does not fulfill my creative side, quite opposite of it I’d say… 3. No. I do schedule time for fun, but don’t seem to enjoy it. I feel tired, time passes in a flash, and my mind is occupied with all the things I have to do when I get back… so, No. 4. Absolutely NO, NO, NO!

Now it’s your turn to tell me what your offenders are hehe! Leave your replies, email me, DM on Instagram, and follow!! Talk to you next week loves!! xo